Danielle Dryden

Testimonial 

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"What challenges were you experiencing before we started working together?

• I expected to be very lost as my diagnoses were quite new, and I had no idea what to expect aside from understanding it wasn’t going to be therapy and would focus on helping me manage. Because I didn’t really have any answers, I was worried that nothing would come of working together or that I might be a frustrating client, but I ended up immediately receiving helpful and supportive advice and reframing which has stuck with me, and is something I try very much to hold onto.

What made you decide to seek coaching?

• I was completely lost, let down by the NHS, and struggling to figure out how to go in a new direction at almost 30, and how to relearn life on my own terms. It was a bit of a last ditch effort at finding appropriate and knowledgeable support and I am so very glad I stuck with it.

What has changed for you since beginning coaching?

• I hold onto self compassion as a key reminder, even if I don’t frequently practice it, and try to apply it to myself more. I have learnt that I can reduce tasks to their barest minimum and that’s okay, it's morally neutral. I have also been able to let go of some of my shame around not being organised, struggling to manage tasks that could help like journaling, tidying, eating appropriately. I understand now that, because my needs don’t look like a neurotypical person's needs, I have an opportunity to find out how to live for myself, as needed, with the things I need to maintain mental comfort and space. I also now have a better understanding of my sensory needs, wants, and avoidances, which has helped me so much in understanding what activities could be good for me vs those which I might need to prepare differently for. It’s been such a genuine and positive experience and Danielle has been utterly supportive, kind, and patient with me throughout.

Were there any particular moments, tools or conversations that stood out as especially helpful?

• Our first conversation, reframing PDA to Persistent Desire for Autonomy, has stuck out and remained bright. I am still understanding how to work with my PDA in a way that is effective for me, but without the reframing I imagine I would have continued to use it as a tool for shaming myself. I liked hearing about the methods Danielle used to handle her own burnout and have opted to trial various methods to help me figure out my own recovery. Danielle has always made a point to remind me that everything works differently for each individual, if a method doesn't work that isn't a reflection on me, and that if my energy and capacity simply isn't having it, it is perfectly and completely okay to simply not complete the task, situation (etc) that is draining my energy. Danielle also reminded me to slow down, reduce things to their barest components, and be gentle with myself. I try to remind myself of these things as often as possible, and they really have been brilliant reframings.

How has coaching affected your work, relationships, confidence or day-to-day life?

• I feel more confident to state the needs that I have in close relationships, and now have better language to understand, advocate, and push for a life that works for me, rather than expecting myself to manage an unattainable neurotypical lifestyle/s. My daily life causes me much less distress, and I feel like there’s a greater chance of me developing something akin to a career that’s suitable and meaningful for me. I have been able to rediscover interests and activities that have been fully closed off from me throughout a multiple-year burnout period, giving me back a joy that I thought was lost forever.

If someone else with Autism, ADHD or AuDHD was considering working with me, what would you tell them?

• I’d recommend Danielle specifically because we clicked very well, our humour and also our concerns and complaints about various health services matched up, which made it so great to discuss the difficulty in getting professional support through the NHS without feeling judged, or as if it were my fault for being Neurodivergent, and to also consider and discuss how to go about seeking support for my specific conditions, concerns and traumas relating to living most of my life thus far as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person. She gave me language that helped me name and understand what has been going on, and she has guided me towards having greater empathy and compassion for myself as I struggle my way through this journey. She’s been a key support for getting my life back on track and has really helped throughout each session, even if we had a couple of sessions that weren’t particularly focused on anything. Her flexibility, patience, empathy and kindness have really supported me in figuring out how to start living for myself.

Is there anything about the coaching approach that you think makes it different?

• It’s more casual than therapy and isn’t focused on delving deep, rather we focused on functional methods, reframing, rethinking and redeveloping for the needs I have right now. I found being able to have loose, discussion based sessions alongside some sessions where we focused on big concerns, really helpful and I always left the sessions in a better mood than going in. Although I think it’s hoped that clients will do their own research and management outside of therapy and in coaching, during coaching Danielle always reminded me to work within my energy limits and if I couldn’t do something, it is what it is. Coaching focused so much more on radical acceptance of my situation, and radical self empathy for someone (me) living a life that wasn’t really set up for them. It’s shaped me, I would gladly go for another round or three of Danielle’s support!"

Aimee U