The ASC-ADHD Coach
Coaching for Autistic, ADHD and AuDHD Adults
Understand yourself. Work with your brain, not against it. Create a life that works for you.
Living with Autism, ADHD or both can bring a unique combination of strengths, challenges and experiences. You might find yourself navigating overwhelm, struggling with executive functioning, managing competing demands or feels exhausted by the effort of trying to meet expectations that don't always align with how you experience the world.
Perhaps you know what you need to change but find it difficult to make those changes happen. Or perhaps you're looking to better understand yourself, recognise your strengths and find more sustainable ways of navigating everyday life.
At the ASC-ADHD Coach, I offer psychologically informed, neurodiversity-affirming coaching thats brings together psychological understanding, practical strategies and a collaborative personalised approach.
Whether you are seeking greater self-understanding, improved wellbeing, or meaningful personal and professional development, coaching offers a space to explore your experiences, navigate challenges and develop approaches that work for you.
Coaching is about understanding yourself and creating meaningful change on your own terms.
Does This Sound Familiar?
You might have spent years trying to understand why certain aspects of everyday life feel more complicated, demanding or exhausting than you think they should.
Perhaps you've developed ways of managing, adapting and meeting expectations, but doing so takes considerable energy. You might be capable, knowledgeable and motivated, yet still find yourself struggling with things that others appear to manage effortlessly.
Some of these experiences might feel familiar:
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday demands
Managing work, relationships, responsibilities and the practicalities of daily life can sometimes feel like an endless balancing act. Even seemingly straightforward tasks can become overwhelming when there are too many competing demands on your attention, energy or capacity.
Knowing what you want to do, but struggling to get started
You might have clear goals, good intentions and a strong understanding of what needs to happen, yet find it difficult to initiate tasks, organise your thoughts, prioritise or follow through. The gap between knowing and doing can be particularly frustrating, especially when conventional productivity advice doesn't seem to help.
Masking, adapting and trying to meet expectations
Perhaps you've become skilled at adjusting how you communicate, behave or respond to different situations. You might find yourself people-pleasing, suppressing your needs or constantly monitoring how others perceive you. Over time, this can make it difficult to recognise what you genuinely need, want or value.
Cycles of productivity, exhaustion and burnout
There may be times when you feel focused, motivated and capable of achieving a great deal, followed by periods when even familiar responsibilities feel difficult to manage. You might push yourself to meet expectations, only to find that the effort is unsustainable, leaving you exhausted or struggling to recover.
Navigating emotions, relationships and communication
You might experience emotions intensely, find uncertainty or perceived criticism particularly difficult, or struggle to communicate your needs and boundaries. Differences in communication styles, emotional processing or social expectations can sometimes contribute to misunderstandings, frustration or difficulties in relationships and the workplace.
Feeling that conventional strategies don't quite fit
Perhaps you've tried planners, routines, productivity techniques, self-help approaches or advice about managing stress and wellbeing. Some strategies may have helped temporarily, while others have felt unrealistic, restrictive or difficult to maintain. You might find yourself wondering why approaches that appear effective for other people don't necessarily work for you.
There Is More to Your Experience Than the Challenges You Face
Autism, ADHD and AuDHD are not simply collections of difficulties to overcome. They can influence how you think, process information, experience emotions, connect with others and engage with the world.
Your experiences may also include creativity, curiosity, determination, deep interests, original perspectives and strengths that have not always been recognised or supported.
Equally, recognising your strengths doesn't mean overlooking the challenges you experience or expecting you to find something positive in every difficulty.
Your experiences deserve curiosity, understanding and compassion, rather than criticism or judgement.
You don't need to work harder at becoming someone you're not. Sometimes, meaningful change begins with understanding why things feel the way they do, recognising what you need and exploring different ways of approaching life.
And that understanding can become the starting point for finding what works for you.
What We Can Work On Together
Coaching that starts with understanding you, your experiences and what matters most in your life. Autism, ADHD and AuDHD can influence many aspects of everyday life, from how you organise and manage responsibilities to how you experience emotions, navigate relationships and pursue personal or professional goals. However, no two people experience neurodivergence in quite the same way. Your strengths, challenges, circumstances, priorities and aspirations are individual to you. At The ASC-ADHD Coach, coaching provides a collaborative space to explore the areas of your life where you would like greater understanding, support or change. Drawing on coaching psychology and evidence-informed psychological approaches, we can work together to develop insight, recognise your existing strengths and explore practical strategies that reflect your needs, values and capacity.
Self-Understanding and Identity Develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your neurodivergence. Understanding yourself as an autistic, ADHD or AuDHD adult can be an ongoing process, particularly if you've spent years adapting to expectations that haven't always reflected your needs. Coaching can provide space to explore how neurodivergence influences your experiences, recognise patterns in your thoughts and behaviour, understand your strengths and support needs, and reflect on the impact of masking, self-expectations and previous experiences. Whether you're newly diagnosed, exploring your neurodivergent identity or reconsidering how you understand yourself, we can work towards developing greater self-awareness, self-acceptance and a more authentic sense of identity.
Executive Functioning and Everyday Life Find practical, sustainable ways to navigate everyday demands. Executive functioning differences can affect planning, organisation, prioritisation, task initiation, working memory, time management and the ability to move between activities. You may know exactly what you want or need to do, yet find it difficult to translate your intentions into action. Strategies that work well in one situation may become less effective when your energy, environment or responsibilities change. Together, we can explore your individual executive functioning profile, identify barriers, develop supportive systems and experiment with approaches that make everyday responsibilities more manageable. The focus isn't on becoming more productive at any cost. It's about finding ways of functioning that support your wellbeing, independence and personal priorities.
Emotional Wellbeing and Regulation Understand your emotional experiences and develop ways of responding that work for you. Emotional experiences can be complex, particularly when navigating sensory demands, uncertainty, overwhelm, frustration, rejection sensitivity or competing expectations. You might find it difficult to recognise what you're feeling, understand what contributes to emotional overwhelm or identify what you need when your capacity is reduced. Using psychologically informed coaching approaches, we can explore emotional awareness, psychological flexibility, stress responses, self-compassion and strategies for navigating challenging experiences. We can also consider the relationship between your emotional wellbeing, sensory experiences, energy levels, environment and everyday demands. The aim is not to eliminate difficult emotions, but to develop greater understanding, flexibility and choice in how you respond to them.
Relationships, Boundaries and Communication Build relationships and communication approaches that respect your needs and values. Relationships can bring connection, enjoyment and belonging, but they can also involve misunderstandings, conflicting expectations and emotional demands. You may find yourself adapting to others, struggling to communicate your needs, feeling responsible for other people's reactions or finding it difficult to establish and maintain boundaries. Coaching can help you explore communication preferences, relationship patterns, personal boundaries, self-advocacy and the expectations you place on yourself and others. Together, we can consider how to communicate more authentically, navigate differences and develop relationships that allow space for your needs as well as those of other people.
Work, Education and Professional Development Navigate professional and educational environments in ways that recognise your strengths and support needs. Work and education can offer opportunities for achievement, purpose and personal development. They can also present challenges involving executive functioning, sensory environments, communication, workload, uncertainty and competing demands. You might be navigating workplace expectations, considering a career change, studying alongside other responsibilities, experiencing burnout or wanting to develop greater confidence in your professional abilities. Coaching can support you to explore your strengths, values, working preferences and aspirations while identifying practical approaches to managing demands, communicating support needs, navigating transitions and making informed decisions. Rather than expecting you to continually adapt to environments that may not meet your needs, we can also explore the adjustments, boundaries and conditions that enable you to work or study more sustainably.
Sustainable Change, Confidence and Personal Growth Create meaningful changes that reflect who you are and the life you want to lead. Personal growth doesn't have to mean constantly striving to achieve more, pushing beyond your limits or measuring yourself against other people's expectations. For some people, meaningful change involves developing confidence, pursuing ambitions or exploring new opportunities. For others, it may mean reducing demands, establishing boundaries, recovering a sense of balance or giving themselves permission to approach life differently. Drawing on behaviour change psychology, positive psychology and strengths-based approaches, coaching can help you clarify what matters to you, identify personally meaningful goals and explore the factors that support or hinder change. Together, we can develop realistic, flexible approaches that acknowledge your circumstances, recognise your capacity and allow for the natural fluctuations of everyday life. The focus is on progress that feels meaningful and sustainable to you, rather than change driven by external expectations.
Your Coaching, Your Priorities
These areas are not separate boxes that you need to fit into. They often overlap and influence one another.
Difficulties with executive functioning may affect confidence or wellbeing. Workplace demands may contribute to emotional exhaustion. Greater self-understanding may change how you approach relationships, boundaries or personal goals.
You may want to explore one particular challenge, several interconnected areas or a broader period of personal development.
There is no fixed starting point and no expectation that you need to work on everything.
Coaching is shaped around your experiences, your priorities and what you want to achieve, with the flexibility to adapt as your understanding and circumstances evolve.
My Approach to Coaching
Psychologically Informed. Neurodiversity-Affirming. Centred Around You.
Meaningful change begins with understanding yourself, not trying to become someone you're not.
At The ASC-ADHD Coach, I believe that effective coaching goes beyond offering advice, productivity techniques or strategies for managing everyday challenges. It involves developing a deeper understanding of yourself, recognising the factors that influence your experiences and exploring ways of creating meaningful, sustainable change.
My approach is grounded in coaching psychology, bringing together psychological knowledge, evidence-informed approaches and specialist understanding of autism, ADHD and AuDHD.
I recognise that the way you think, feel, process information and navigate the world is influenced by a complex interaction of your neurodivergence, personal experiences, environment, relationships and circumstances. What works for one person may not work for another, and strategies that are helpful at one stage of life may need to change as your needs and capacity evolve.
That's why I take an integrative and person-centred approach, drawing on different psychological perspectives rather than relying on a single coaching model or a prescribed set of techniques.
Bringing Psychological Understanding into Everyday Life
My coaching integrates principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), positive psychology, behaviour change psychology, solution-focused coaching and cognitive-behavioural approaches.
These provide different ways of exploring your experiences, understanding patterns and identifying possibilities for change.
For example, our work might involve:
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Developing self-awareness: Exploring how your neurodivergence, thoughts, emotions, behaviours and experiences influence different areas of your life.
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Understanding what matters to you: Clarifying your personal values, priorities and aspirations, and considering how these can guide your decisions and actions.
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Recognising strengths and resources: Identifying your abilities, interests, existing strategies and the conditions that support your wellbeing and personal development.
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Exploring barriers to change: Understanding how executive functioning, emotional experiences, environmental demands, habits and expectations can affect your ability to move towards your goals.
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Developing psychological flexibility: Exploring different ways of responding to difficult thoughts, emotions, uncertainty and changing circumstances, without placing additional pressure on yourself.
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Creating sustainable strategies: Experimenting with practical, realistic approaches that reflect your individual needs, energy, capacity and everyday responsibilities.
Rather than applying psychological models rigidly, I use them as frameworks to support curiosity, reflection and collaborative problem-solving.
Understanding Before Strategies
You may have already tried numerous approaches to managing your time, organising responsibilities, regulating emotions or making changes in your life.
Some may have been helpful. Others may have felt difficult to maintain, overly restrictive or simply incompatible with the way you function.
My approach begins by exploring why something is difficult, rather than immediately focusing on how to overcome it.
We might consider the influence of executive functioning, sensory experiences, emotional demands, motivation, personal expectations or the environment around you.
Sometimes the answer involves developing a new strategy. Sometimes it involves adapting an existing approach, changing your environment, reducing demands or reconsidering expectations that are no longer helpful.
The aim isn't to make you fit the strategy. It's to find approaches that fit you.
A Collaborative Approach to Meaningful Change
Coaching is not about me providing all the answers or deciding what you should do differently.
You bring your lived experience, knowledge of yourself, priorities and aspirations. I bring psychological understanding, coaching skills and a structured but flexible space for exploration and reflection.
Together, we can develop insight, consider different perspectives, identify possibilities and explore actions that feel meaningful and achievable.
Importantly, progress doesn't have to mean doing more, achieving more or constantly pushing yourself forward.
It might involve developing confidence, understanding your needs, establishing boundaries, finding greater balance, recognising your strengths or making changes that allow you to live and work more sustainably.
My approach is about combining psychological understanding with practical application, supporting you to make informed choices and create a life that reflects who you are, what you need and what matters most to you.
A Personalised Approach, Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution
Coaching That Adapts to You, Rather Than Expecting You to Adapt to Coaching
There is no single way to be autistic, have ADHD or experience AuDHD. And there shouldn't be a single way to approach coaching.
Every neurodivergent person brings their own combination of strengths, challenges, experiences, preferences and support needs. What feels helpful, accessible or achievable for one person may be entirely different for another.
At The ASC-ADHD Coach, I recognise that effective coaching needs to reflect these individual differences.
My approach is neurodiversity-affirming, person-centred and collaborative, creating space for you to explore your experiences without judgement, pressure or expectations about how you should think, communicate or behave.
Rather than following a rigid process or expecting you to fit a particular coaching model, we work together to identify approaches that are meaningful, accessible and appropriate for you.
Coaching That Recognises Your Individual Needs
Communication That Works for You
Not everyone finds it easy to think aloud, respond to questions immediately or communicate their experiences in the same way.
You might prefer time to reflect before answering, benefit from written information, find direct questions helpful or need space to organise your thoughts.
Our coaching conversations can accommodate different communication preferences, including the use of written prompts, visual approaches, additional processing time and opportunities for reflection.
There is no expectation that you need to communicate in a particular way to engage meaningfully in coaching.
Respecting Sensory Needs and Processing Differences
Sensory experiences, attention, information processing and environmental demands can influence how comfortable and accessible a coaching session feels.
We can consider factors such as sensory preferences, information overload, processing time and the amount of structure that feels helpful.
Sessions can be adapted to support your engagement, recognising that your ability to concentrate, reflect or process information may vary depending on your circumstances and capacity.
Understanding Executive Functioning Differences
Planning, organisation, working memory, task initiation and managing competing demands can all influence how you engage with coaching and apply ideas between sessions.
Rather than assuming that progress depends on completing tasks, maintaining routines or consistently following through with agreed actions, we can explore approaches that acknowledge your individual executive functioning needs.
This might include breaking ideas into manageable steps, using written summaries, creating external reminders or finding alternative ways to reflect and experiment between sessions.
Coaching shouldn't become another source of pressure or another list of things you feel you've failed to complete.
Recognising Fluctuating Energy and Capacity
Your energy, attention, emotional resources and ability to manage demands may change from day to day or week to week.
Periods of stress, sensory overload, burnout, health difficulties or increased responsibilities can all influence what feels manageable.
My approach recognises that progress is not always linear and that your needs may change over time.
Some sessions may focus on taking practical steps towards a goal. Others may involve reflection, making sense of experiences, reviewing expectations or identifying what support you need in your current circumstances.
Slowing down, adjusting a goal or recognising the need for rest can be just as meaningful as taking action.
Collaboration, Choice and Autonomy
You are the expert in your own lived experience.
My role as a coach is not to prescribe solutions, tell you what you should be doing or decide what a successful life should look like for you.
Instead, coaching is a partnership.
You bring your experiences, perspectives, values and priorities. I bring psychological knowledge, coaching skills and an understanding of the ways autism, ADHD and AuDHD can influence everyday life.
Together, we can explore possibilities, consider different approaches and identify what feels useful and achievable.
You have a voice in the direction, pace and focus of our work. Strategies are opportunities to explore rather than rules to follow, and approaches can be reviewed or changed when they are no longer helpful.
Supporting You Without Expecting You to Change Who You Are
Neurodiversity-affirming coaching does not mean ignoring challenges or suggesting that every aspect of neurodivergence is positive.
It means recognising that your difficulties are real, your support needs matter and your strengths deserve equal consideration.
It also means understanding that not every challenge needs to be addressed by changing your behaviour.
Sometimes meaningful progress involves adapting your environment, communicating your needs, establishing boundaries, reducing demands or reconsidering expectations that are difficult to sustain.
At other times, it may involve developing new skills, building confidence, exploring different perspectives or finding practical ways to navigate challenges.
The goal is not to make you function more like someone else. It is to help you discover what enables you to function, feel and live in ways that are meaningful and sustainable for you.
Your Needs. Your Priorities. Your Pace.
There is no predetermined version of success that you need to work towards.
For you, progress might mean feeling more confident in your identity, finding ways to manage everyday responsibilities, developing healthier boundaries, navigating a transition or creating more space for the things that matter to you.
Whatever brings you to coaching, our work begins with understanding your experiences and exploring what you would like to be different.
Because meaningful coaching isn't about finding one approach that works for everyone. It's about finding what works for you.
Meet Danielle — Your Coach
Combining Psychological Knowledge, Professional Experience and Lived Understanding
Hello, I'm Danielle, the person behind The ASC-ADHD Coach.
I'm a psychologically informed coach specialising in supporting autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults to better understand themselves, navigate life's challenges and create meaningful, sustainable changes.
My approach brings together academic knowledge, professional training, practical experience and my own lived experience of being autistic and having ADHD. I believe this combination offers a valuable perspective, allowing me to understand neurodivergence through both psychological theory and the realities of everyday life.
I recognise that being neurodivergent can influence many aspects of life, including how we think, process information, experience emotions, manage responsibilities, navigate relationships and engage with the world around us.
But I also recognise that no two neurodivergent people are the same.
Your experiences are shaped not only by autism or ADHD, but also by your personality, relationships, environment, life experiences, strengths, values and circumstances.
My role is not to make assumptions about what you need, but to work alongside you to understand your experiences and explore what works for you.
My Professional Background
Psychology has been a central part of my professional development, and I have a particular interest in understanding human behaviour, psychological wellbeing and the processes that support meaningful change.
I hold a BSc (Hons) in Psychology, a Masters in Positive Psychology (MAPP) postgraduate qualifications in Behaviour Change, and professional qualifications in coaching. I am also undertaking an MSc in Coaching Psychology, further developing my knowledge of how psychological research, theory and evidence-informed approaches can be applied within coaching practice.
My professional development also includes training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), cognitive-behavioural approaches, counselling skills, trauma-informed practice and specialist understanding of autism and ADHD.
Alongside my coaching practice, my wider professional background has involved working with people experiencing complex personal circumstances, supporting behaviour change and understanding the interaction between individuals, their experiences and the environments around them.
This breadth of knowledge informs an integrative coaching approach, drawing on different psychological perspectives to support self-awareness, emotional wellbeing, executive functioning, personal development and sustainable change.
Rather than focusing exclusively on practical strategies or immediate challenges, I am interested in understanding the psychological processes that influence how we experience life, make decisions, respond to difficulties and move towards what matters to us.
Professional Knowledge Meets Lived Experience
My own experience of being autistic and having ADHD has also shaped my understanding of neurodivergence.
I understand that being neurodivergent can involve a complex relationship between strengths, challenges, expectations and everyday demands.
It can mean being highly capable in some areas while finding seemingly straightforward tasks unexpectedly difficult. It can involve wanting structure but struggling with rigidity, having ambitious goals but experiencing difficulties with initiation or follow-through, or appearing to manage well while using considerable energy to meet expectations.
I also understand that neurodivergence doesn't exist separately from the rest of life. Relationships, work, family responsibilities, health, personal experiences and environmental demands can all influence our wellbeing and capacity.
However, I don't assume that my experience will be the same as yours.
Lived experience provides insight, but it doesn't replace curiosity, professional knowledge or the importance of listening to each person's individual perspective.
For me, neurodiversity-affirming coaching means recognising both the strengths and the genuine challenges associated with neurodivergence, without reducing someone to a diagnosis or expecting them to conform to a particular way of functioning.
Why I Take a Psychologically Informed Approach
I believe that meaningful and sustainable change often requires more than knowing what we should do.
We might understand the importance of boundaries but struggle to establish them. We might recognise that a particular routine would be helpful but find it difficult to maintain. We might know that our expectations are unrealistic yet continue to place considerable pressure on ourselves.
These experiences are not necessarily about a lack of knowledge, motivation or effort.
They can involve complex interactions between our thoughts, emotions, executive functioning, previous experiences, habits, environments and available resources.
This is why I draw on coaching psychology, positive psychology, behaviour change and other evidence-informed psychological approaches.
They provide frameworks for exploring not only what we want to change, but also why certain patterns occur, what influences our ability to make changes and how we might approach things differently.
I don't believe there is one psychological model or coaching technique that works for everyone. Instead, I use an integrative, collaborative approach that recognises individual differences and allows us to explore what is relevant and useful for you.
My Philosophy: Understanding Before Change
One of the principles at the heart of my coaching is that understanding should come before expectations of change.
Many autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults have spent years trying to adapt to environments, expectations and advice that haven't always reflected how they experience the world.
You may have been encouraged to become more organised, manage your emotions differently, improve your productivity or simply try harder, without sufficient consideration of the factors influencing your experiences.
I believe that coaching should offer something different.
It should provide an opportunity to explore your experiences without judgement, develop a greater understanding of your individual needs and recognise the strengths and resources you already possess.
Sometimes meaningful change involves developing new skills or practical strategies. Sometimes it means adapting your environment, establishing boundaries, reducing demands or reconsidering expectations that are no longer sustainable.
And sometimes it begins with recognising that you don't need to change who you are to create a life that works better for you.
Working Together
I see coaching as a partnership built on curiosity, collaboration, respect and trust.
You bring your lived experience, knowledge of yourself, priorities and aspirations. I bring psychological understanding, coaching skills and a structured but flexible approach to exploring challenges and possibilities.
My role isn't to tell you how to live your life or prescribe solutions. It is to support you in developing insight, considering different perspectives, recognising choices and exploring approaches that reflect your needs and values.
I also recognise that progress is not always linear.
Your capacity, circumstances and priorities may change, and what feels achievable at one point may need to be reconsidered at another.
Coaching should be responsive to these changes rather than becoming another source of pressure or expectation.
Whether you're looking to develop greater self-understanding, navigate challenges, improve your wellbeing, explore personal or professional goals, or find more sustainable ways of managing everyday life, my aim is to provide a space where you feel understood, respected and supported.
I believe that meaningful coaching isn't about becoming a different person. It's about developing the understanding, confidence and flexibility to make choices that reflect who you are, what you need and the life you want to lead.
What People Say About Danielle
"When I first started coaching, I was at the beginning of my AuDHD diagnosis and preparing to start a new role in a fast-paced private sector organisation. Whilst I understood my diagnosis, I didn't fully understand how it affected my daily life, my thinking, my emotions or the way I approached work and relationships.
Through coaching, I have developed a much deeper understanding of myself. I have become more self-aware, gained a better understanding of how my AuDHD shows up in different areas of my life and learned to work with my brain rather than against it. One of the biggest things I've learned is that self-compassion isn't about making excuses. It's about understanding how my AuDHD affects me so I can respond with curiosity rather than self-criticism, build practical strategies that work for me and continue to grow.
One of the most valuable parts of coaching has been exploring my values, strengths and perfectionism. It has helped me understand what motivates me, recognise when I'm placing unrealistic expectations on myself and develop healthier ways of managing challenges. I've become more confident advocating for myself, understanding my emotional needs and recognising when I need to step back and regulate rather than simply push through.
The coaching has had a positive impact on my confidence, my work and my relationships. Danielle creates a compassionate, supportive and non-judgemental environment while also encouraging me to challenge unhelpful thinking and continue developing. Her structured coaching programme has allowed me to see how far I've come, while remaining flexible enough to adapt to what I need at different stages of my journey.
I would wholeheartedly recommend Danielle to anyone with ADHD, Autism or AuDHD who wants to better understand themselves, build confidence and develop practical strategies to thrive in both their personal and professional life. Her coaching has helped me understand not just my diagnosis, but myself".
Sarah P
"I had coaching sessions with Danielle after I had my ADHD diagnosis in the lead up to my autism diagnosis. She helped me to map my ADHD and autism related traits and strengths in Venn diagrams, plan how to handle certain situations, sort through my approach to managing my traits, start to process what unmasking might look like and to prepare for my autism assessment and process the diagnosis. Danielle was warm, affirming, non-pretentious, easy to talk to and quick to understand my experience and validate it. Working with Danielle helped me feel a lot less anxious and much more in control, I plan to go back to her for coaching periodically in future and I would definitely recommend working with her, particularly for those who may have both autism and ADHD or those struggling with internalised ableism or imposter syndrome (including imposter syndrome about whether you are neurodivergent)."
- Fiona
"Thank you for all your help Danielle! I feel very equipped for the future, thanks to your supportive, compassionate guidance. It has been a pleasure working with you and I can't thank you enough"
I expected to be very lost as my diagnoses were quite new, and I had no idea what to expect aside from understanding it wasn’t going to be therapy and would focus on helping me manage. Because I didn’t really have any answers, I was worried that nothing would come of working together or that I might be a frustrating client, but I ended up immediately receiving helpful and supportive advice and reframing which has stuck with me, and is something I try very much to hold onto.
I was completely lost, let down by the NHS, and struggling to figure out how to go in a new direction at almost 30, and how to relearn life on my own terms. It was a bit of a last ditch effort at finding appropriate and knowledgeable support and I am so very glad I stuck with it.
I hold onto self compassion as a key reminder, even if I don’t frequently practice it, and try to apply it to myself more. I have learnt that I can reduce tasks to their barest minimum and that’s okay, it's morally neutral. I have also been able to let go of some of my shame around not being organised, struggling to manage tasks that could help like journaling, tidying, eating appropriately. I understand now that, because my needs don’t look like a neurotypical person's needs, I have an opportunity to find out how to live for myself, as needed, with the things I need to maintain mental comfort and space. I also now have a better understanding of my sensory needs, wants, and avoidances, which has helped me so much in understanding what activities could be good for me vs those which I might need to prepare differently for. It’s been such a genuine and positive experience and Danielle has been utterly supportive, kind, and patient with me throughout.
Our first conversation, reframing PDA to Persistent Desire for Autonomy, has stuck out and remained bright. I am still understanding how to work with my PDA in a way that is effective for me, but without the reframing I imagine I would have continued to use it as a tool for shaming myself. I liked hearing about the methods Danielle used to handle her own burnout and have opted to trial various methods to help me figure out my own recovery. Danielle has always made a point to remind me that everything works differently for each individual, if a method doesn't work that isn't a reflection on me, and that if my energy and capacity simply isn't having it, it is perfectly and completely okay to simply not complete the task, situation (etc) that is draining my energy. Danielle also reminded me to slow down, reduce things to their barest components, and be gentle with myself. I try to remind myself of these things as often as possible, and they really have been brilliant reframings.
I feel more confident to state the needs that I have in close relationships, and now have better language to understand, advocate, and push for a life that works for me, rather than expecting myself to manage an unattainable neurotypical lifestyle/s. My daily life causes me much less distress, and I feel like there’s a greater chance of me developing something akin to a career that’s suitable and meaningful for me. I have been able to rediscover interests and activities that have been fully closed off from me throughout a multiple-year burnout period, giving me back a joy that I thought was lost forever.
If someone else with Autism, ADHD or AuDHD was considering working with me, what would you tell them?
I’d recommend Danielle specifically because we clicked very well, our humour and also our concerns and complaints about various health services matched up, which made it so great to discuss the difficulty in getting professional support through the NHS without feeling judged, or as if it were my fault for being Neurodivergent, and to also consider and discuss how to go about seeking support for my specific conditions, concerns and traumas relating to living most of my life thus far as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person. She gave me language that helped me name and understand what has been going on, and she has guided me towards having greater empathy and compassion for myself as I struggle my way through this journey. She’s been a key support for getting my life back on track and has really helped throughout each session, even if we had a couple of sessions that weren’t particularly focused on anything. Her flexibility, patience, empathy and kindness have really supported me in figuring out how to start living for myself.
It’s more casual than therapy and isn’t focused on delving deep, rather we focused on functional methods, reframing, rethinking and redeveloping for the needs I have right now. I found being able to have loose, discussion based sessions alongside some sessions where we focused on big concerns, really helpful and I always left the sessions in a better mood than going in. Although I think it’s hoped that clients will do their own research and management outside of therapy and in coaching, during coaching Danielle always reminded me to work within my energy limits and if I couldn’t do something, it is what it is. Coaching focused so much more on radical acceptance of my situation, and radical self empathy for someone (me) living a life that wasn’t really set up for them. It’s shaped me, I would gladly go for another round or three of Danielle’s support!"
Aimee U