Self-Care Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All: Habits for Neurodivergent Life

Danielle Dryden
Jan 9
10 min read

Forest Bathing is a great form of self-care

Remembering self-care can be tough for anyone, but for autistic and ADHD adults, it’s often an uphill battle. Between sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, and mental fatigue, even simple tasks like eating regularly or getting enough sleep might feel overwhelming. Yet self-care isn’t just about survival—it’s key to mental health and balance. Whether it’s figuring out practical strategies or rethinking the idea of self-care entirely, there are ways to make it work for your unique needs.

Understanding Autism and ADHD

Living with autism or ADHD often means navigating unique challenges, especially when it comes to daily routines like self-care. Understanding how these conditions impact daily life is a critical step in addressing these hurdles. Let’s explore each condition and how they may influence self-care habits.

Defining Autism

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) affects how individuals interact with the world around them. People on the spectrum may have difficulties with communication, social interactions, or sensory processing. These characteristics often shape their ability to maintain consistent routines.

For those with autism, self-care can become overwhelming due to:

Sensory sensitivity: Everyday tasks like brushing teeth or hair may feel physically painful.
Need for routine: Sudden changes in a routine can cause significant distress, making it harder to integrate new self-care habits.
Executive dysfunction: This can make planning, initiating, or completing tasks—like cooking or bathing—a persistent struggle.

For example, someone with autism might avoid showering if they find the noise of running water unbearable. By understanding these challenges, we can work towards creating self-care practices tailored to individual needs. To learn more about autism symptoms and characteristics, check resources like CDC.

Defining ADHD

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) impacts attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity levels. For adults with ADHD, self-care often takes a back seat to more “urgent” activities. Why? It’s a mix of forgetfulness, time blindness, and executive dysfunction.

Here’s how ADHD symptoms can disrupt self-care routines:

Time management struggles: Forgetting to eat meals or skipping breaks because you lose track of time.
Impulsivity: It’s easy to start one task and jump to another, leaving unfinished chores like laundry or meal prep.
Low motivation for non-stimulating tasks: Repetitive or “boring” activities, such as brushing teeth or cleaning, are often deferred.

Picture this: You know you need to prepare dinner, but an impulse to reorganise your desk takes over. Suddenly, it’s 9 PM, and you’re too tired to cook. Resources such as Clarity Clinic offer helpful strategies for addressing ADHD-related challenges.

By understanding both autism and ADHD, we can begin to address the nuances of how they intersect with self-care. This lays the groundwork for creating achievable and sustainable routines.

The Importance of Self-Care

For adults with autism and ADHD, self-care is more than just a buzzword—it’s a lifeline. It helps manage stress, improve mental and physical health, and provides a foundation for their daily lives. Yet, with executive dysfunction, sensory challenges, and time blindness often in the mix, prioritising self-care can feel impossible. Understanding its value is the first step towards making it a sustainable habit.

Mental Health Benefits

Self-care is an anchor for emotional stability and mental well-being, especially for neurodivergent individuals. It combats stress, helps regulate overwhelming emotions, and creates mental spaces to recharge—an antidote to the burnout that many autistic and ADHD adults face.

For instance, when you carve out time for activities that bring joy, such as reading, walking, or even listening to soothing music, it’s not just a luxury—it's a necessity. These small efforts help prevent the mental fog and anxiety that often come with living in a neurodiverse brain. Activities like mindfulness, meditation, or journaling can also improve emotional regulation, which is often a hurdle for those managing autism or ADHD.

Research supports this, showing that self-care can reduce stress and reduce the likelihood of depression and anxiety. For more on how self-care actively promotes mental health, visit resources like National Institute of Mental Health and Psychology Today.

Physical Health Benefits

Taking care of your body is closely tied to your mental health—but it’s often overlooked! Self-care habits like getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and eating balanced meals are more than just ‘to do’ list items; they’re building blocks for overall health.

For neurodivergent individuals, physical self-care can stabilise energy levels, improve concentration, and reduce sensory overload. Think about it: skipping meals or forgetting to exercise isn’t uncommon with ADHD or autism, but these habits can escalate fatigue and create a vicious cycle. A regular sleep schedule, for example, can dramatically improve focus and reduce irritability.

Simple routines can make a huge difference. For instance, incorporating downtime activities like stretching or yoga can balance overstimulation or hyperactivity. Resources like Mental Health First Aid also highlight how small, consistent habits can lead to stronger physical and mental resilience.

By embracing self-care not as optional, but as essential, the journey to a healthier life becomes more accessible—even for those with ADHD and autism.

Challenges of Remembering Self-Care

When autism and ADHD intersect, everyday tasks like self-care can feel like climbing a steep hill. These challenges aren’t just about remembering to brush your teeth or eat dinner—they stem from deeper barriers within the brain's wiring. Here, we break down the core issues affecting self-care for neurodivergent individuals.

Executive Functioning Difficulties

Executive functioning involves skills that allow us to plan, organise, and execute daily routines. For individuals with autism or ADHD, these cognitive processes often don't cooperate the way they should. You might know what to do, but getting it done becomes an overwhelming mental puzzle.

Task initiation struggles: Starting self-care tasks, like running a bath or preparing meals, often feels like trying to move a mountain.
Planning pitfalls: You may forget to schedule critical routines, like doctor's appointments or grocery shopping, due to challenges with time management.
Difficulty completing tasks: Even when started, self-care might be interrupted by distractions or the urge to start something else.

For instance, you may intend to have a relaxing evening but suddenly remember unfinished work. The task-switching creates stress, and soon, that shower feels impossible. These common obstacles are explained in more depth in this guide on executive dysfunction.

Sensory Overload

Imagine trying to brush your teeth while the toothpaste taste feels too sharp, the water too cold, and the sound of the running tap drowns your thoughts. This is sensory overload, a frequent experience for autistic and ADHD adults.

Overwhelming textures or sounds: Clipping nails or combing hair can be overstimulating, leading to avoidance.
Bright lights or strong smells: Fluorescent bathroom lights or the odour of cleaning products can make self-care unbearable.
Too many stimuli at once: Multitasking during a chaotic environment leads to shutdown.

These sensory challenges make routines that others take for granted feel like a battlefield. To learn how sensory overload works and how to manage it, check out resources like VeryWell Health’s explanation.

Emotional Regulation Issues

Managing emotions like stress, frustration, or even boredom is no small task for neurodivergent adults. Emotional dysregulation can quickly sabotage any plans for self-care.

Overwhelming stress: If you feel anxious or upset, self-care might be the last thing on your mind.
Boredom or apathy: Repetitive self-care tasks may lack the stimulation needed to keep you motivated.
Emotional exhaustion: After a tough day, simply brushing your hair can feel as taxing as running a marathon.

For many, self-care isn’t just a physical challenge—it’s deeply tied to mental and emotional capacity. Strategies like creating routines or practising mindfulness can be helpful, as discussed in this article on emotional regulation.

By addressing these challenges one step at a time, self-care can become more doable, even for those facing unique neurodivergent obstacles.

Practical Self-Care Strategies

Finding effective self-care strategies can feel challenging when managing autism or ADHD, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With the right tools and approaches, you can create a self-care framework that is adaptable to your needs and fits comfortably into your life. Below are three practical methods to get started.

Creating Routines: Establishing Consistency with Flexibility

A good routine can act like a safety net, offering structure amidst the chaos. For adults with ADHD and autism, creating routines isn’t about perfection—it’s about building something manageable.

Start small: Anchor routines around essential activities, like brushing your teeth or having a consistent mealtime.
Use time blocks: Assign flexible windows for tasks instead of rigid schedules to reduce pressure.
Shut out distractions: Designate uncluttered spaces free from excess noise or visual clutter.
Check in regularly: Allow room for adjustments based on how routines work for you.

For example, if you struggle with bedtime consistency, try setting an alarm two hours before sleep to wind down. Building routines is a process, so be patient with yourself. If you need inspiration, resources like the Marcus Autism Center offer structured guides to help create manageable, personalised schedules.

Using Visual Aids: Simplify and Remember

Visual aids are invaluable for staying on track. They serve as clear, unambiguous reminders that integrate seamlessly into everyday routines. Whether it’s a checklist, colourful chart, or step-by-step visual, these tools help reduce cognitive load.

Picture schedules: Create a sequence of daily tasks with images or icons, such as eating breakfast, brushing teeth, and taking medication.
Stick to visible spots: Place visual reminders where they’re impossible to ignore—bathroom mirrors, fridge doors, or workspaces.
Customised checklists: Apps or laminated templates allow you to tick off completed tasks, reinforcing a sense of accomplishment.

Visuals not only break down tasks but can also motivate you to complete activities independently. For example, a laminated "morning routine" chart above your sink can be a game-changer. Explore options like Autism Grown Up’s Visual Supports, which include resources tailored for self-care tasks.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Finding Calm in Busy Minds

Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean sitting still—it can take many forms suited for neurodivergent needs. Practising mindfulness and relaxation can provide much-needed balance.

Stim-based mindfulness: Engage in sensory-friendly activities like playing with stress balls, using slime, or gentle rocking. These actions can help regulate and calm racing thoughts.
Active mindfulness techniques: Try yoga stretches, walking meditation, or mindful movement exercises to stay grounded while staying active.
Quick relaxation exercises: Breathing techniques, such as inhaling for four counts, holding your breath for four, and exhaling for four, offer rapid relief.

For example, mindfulness can be as simple as focusing on the sensation of the water during a warm shower. Dive deeper into neurodivergent-friendly mindfulness strategies with resources like Autistic-Friendly Practices from Time Timer.

By combining routines, visual aids, and mindfulness exercises, self-care becomes less overwhelming and more tailored to your unique needs. These strategies are stepping stones to improving daily habits and overall wellness.

Seeking Support

Managing self-care while dealing with autism or ADHD can often feel isolating. The good news? You don’t have to navigate it alone. Professional therapies and community support can significantly improve self-care routines, reduce stress, and foster a sense of belonging. Let’s explore how.

Therapies and Interventions: Strategies for Self-Care Management

Therapies tailored for autism and ADHD can equip you with tools to better manage self-care. These approaches often focus on building routines, improving executive functioning, and tackling sensory or emotional challenges. Several interventions stand out for their effectiveness.

Occupational therapy: Focuses on teaching practical skills like grooming, meal preparation, or time management in a way that suits your needs.
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT): Especially useful for addressing emotional regulation and breaking down self-care into manageable steps.
Behavioural therapy: Develops essential skills such as organising tasks or navigating social situations, all of which tie into better self-care practices.

For example, behavioural therapy might guide someone with ADHD to visualise their day using simple task charts. Much like a roadmap, it removes the guesswork from daily routines. Therapies such as these have been shown to improve quality of life by making self-care more approachable, as explained in this resource on therapy for autism and ADHD.

Movement-based therapies, such as yoga or dance, can also help regulate the body and mind, enabling better focus on self-care. Explore more approaches to self-care through therapeutic practices on Rainbow Therapy.

Community and Peer Support: The Power of Shared Experiences

One of the most impactful forms of support can come from others who truly “get it.” Community and peer-support groups offer a space to share experiences and discover collective wisdom. Rather than feeling alone in your challenges, you’ll be surrounded by others walking a similar path.

The benefits of joining a support group include:

Practical advice: Members share tips and solutions that have worked for them, from scheduling tools to sensory-friendly gadgets.
Emotional support: You’ll find a space to express frustrations and receive encouragement, free from judgment.
Better coping strategies: Hearing how others overcome similar obstacles can inspire alternative ways to manage your own self-care.

Imagine having a community where someone suggests a brilliant yet simple trick—like using a weighted blanket to wind down before bed. It’s this kind of shared experience that makes support groups so valuable. In fact, peer groups can significantly boost resilience and reduce stress, as noted in this guide on autism support groups.

Whether you’re connecting with others online or attending in-person meetups, these groups offer a safety net of support, helping you feel less overwhelmed and more empowered. Learn more about the advantages of support networks at Therapy Land.

By leaning into therapies and peer support, you’re placing building blocks for a more sustainable and fulfilling approach to self-care. These options aren’t just secondary—they can be lifelines, making your journey smoother and more connected.

Conclusion

Self-care isn’t just a task—it’s a foundation for managing life with autism and ADHD. It helps you feel balanced, improve focus, and support overall well-being.

Building habits like using routines, visual aids, or mindfulness can make self-care approachable. Start small, and adjust as needed. Progress, not perfection, is key.

Take action today. Choose one strategy from this post to implement. Your well-being deserves it.

Work With Me: Building a Life That Works for Your Neurodivergent Mind

Navigating life as an autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD adult can feel like juggling a dozen things at once while trying to stay balanced. Whether it’s managing self-care, organizing your day, or understanding your unique strengths, I’m here to help you create practical strategies that actually work for you—not against you.

What I Offer

Together, we’ll address the challenges you face in areas like:

Self-Care: Developing realistic and sustainable routines tailored to your sensory and executive functioning needs.
Time Management: Overcoming time blindness and procrastination with tools designed for your brain.
Emotional Regulation: Discovering techniques to navigate stress, overwhelm, and burnout.
Life Organization: Breaking down overwhelming tasks into achievable steps, creating systems that work for you.

How It Works

My coaching is all about collaboration. We’ll work together in a way that fits your preferences—whether that’s written coaching, virtual sessions, or interactive worksheets. Each session is tailored to your specific challenges, strengths, and goals.

You’ll receive:

Personalized action plans that align with your unique neurodivergent needs.
Practical tools like visual aids, task lists, or sensory-friendly strategies.
Ongoing encouragement and adjustments to keep you moving forward.

Why Work With Me?

As an autistic ADHDer and experienced neurodivergence coach, I truly understand the hurdles and opportunities that come with living in a neurodivergent brain. My approach combines positive psychology, practical strategies, and a deep commitment to helping you thrive—at home, at work, and everywhere in between.

Let’s Create a Life That Feels Right for You

Whether you’re tackling self-care, redefining success, or just trying to find your balance, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Ready to start? Contact me to book a discovery call and take the first step toward a life that works for you.